When writing a romance novel, you have to put into account how others want to receive love and what makes them feel appreciated! The same goes for those in our lives. God made us all different - and we all give and receive love differently. The key is to know who needs what and when. I'm happy to share the idea that my friend Sara Hochstetler had on helping us along on figuring that out...
Love Language Cards and why I made themWhat is your love language? What acts speak to the heart of your spouse and children? It gets overwhelming to remember what each child needs from me. Am I praising them enough? Hugging them enough? Am I making them feel like they are a priority to ME in the ways that matter to THEM? I felt frustrated by feeling as if I was not doing "enough" at the end of the day. So I made these cards for my boys so THEY could tell ME what they needed. Now it is up to them to communicate to mom and dad what they are feeling. All they have to do is put it on the fridge (where it will get my attention) and then I can love on them in the way they need it! Of course this works for Mom and Dad too. If you are not familiar with the 5 Love Languages-here they are:
Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts
You can take the test for your family here.
What I've come up with is a set of 6 magnetic cards on a ring (easily hung on a Command strip hook on the side of the fridge). One for each love language plus one for mom and dad. You can pick from the titles shown plus some others I have or come up with your own. Your family is unique-embrace that! Come up with as many cards as you want. Extra cards will be $1 each. Cost of 6 cards is $10 plus shipping (if necessary).
Contact me through my Facebook page where you can see all the example cards. Please know each card design will be different but you can pick out of 3 options for style. They are Girly, Boyish or Both. Or tell me what style you would prefer per card if that works better for your family.
Here's a sneak peak at the cards!
Thanks for reading!
Sara Hochstetler
Monday, December 1, 2014
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Tuesday Truth - When I Get in the Way
“Do not
love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of
the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful
man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not
from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but
the man who does the will of God lives
forever.”
-1 John 2: 15-17
We are to be IN the world, not OF the
world. Last week we talked about the people that surround us, our friends.
Today, let’s talk about the one person that always seems to get in the way.
Ourselves. We live in a very self-centered world. It’s all about: What can I do
to make ME happy. To make ME succeed. What’s best for ME. What’s easy for ME.
How can I obtain more wealth, prestige and power for ME. Notice a pattern here?
Me. Me. Me. So if this is what the world tells us, what is God telling us? We
can find it in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do
nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value
others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to
the interests of others!” Not quite the same is it. And not only do I have
to work on this continually for myself, but I also have to press it upon my
children in a way that shows them how much I love them while explaining that
life is not always about them. My middle son, Brayden, gave me a good example
of this when he was in Kindergarten. I went to the school to have lunch with
him and stayed for recess afterwards. We had a great time playing and then the
bell rang, announcing it was time for the kids to get in line to head back to
class. Brayden jogged up to the line and right as he found his place in line, a
kid ran up and pushed him out of line and said, “Haha, I beat you. I’m first.”
Let me tell you, it about got ugly on that brisk April day on the playground. Mama bear
stepped forward ready to grab that kid by the collar and let him know how I
felt about the situation, but I stopped when Brayden just shrugged and said,
“That’s okay. God says that the first will be last and the last will be first!”
Bible burn. Not gonna lie. I loved it and my heart swelled with pride…and then
I cringed over what my reaction was going to be. What a great reminder as we
submerge ourselves into the world to put others before ourselves. I’ll be
honest, I struggle in this area. I can be a very selfish person. And the one
person I should be the most giving with, the one that I should always put
first, I don’t: My better half - my husband. I can do it, but it takes effort
and doesn’t always come easy for me. This is an area where I claim...I
am not a perfect person, but I serve a perfect God, who’s not done with me
yet!!! In your walk with the Lord, how are you being IN the world, but not OF
the world? Are there any changes that you need to make? Talk to God about that
right now.
Heavenly Father, as I immerse myself into
the world, help me to keep my eyes on YOU, so they are not on ME. In 1
Corinthians 16: 13-14, your word says, “Be on your guard, stand firm in the
faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.” Through you, help
me to be all those things as I put others before me. Amen.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Small Time Author Meets Big Time Author = Mind Blown
Today I had a pretty awesome experience. If you are a fan of Christian Romance novels, then you will appreciate what I am about to tell you. I had the privilege of meeting Denise Hunter this afternoon. (Enter squeal here!!) Just her and I on a little one-on-one talk at Starbucks as we chatted about life, kids and writing! What?!?
Long story short: I found out that Denise lives in Fort Wayne, and only being an hour away, I gathered some nerve and e-mailed her asking if she did any writing workshops or if maybe we could meet sometime. Ya know, "Please meet with me, a wanna-be-author that is a complete-stranger to you." I mean, who wouldn't jump at the chance? A lot of people wouldn't - but she did!! She so kindly offered to meet with me.
What an encouraging time of picking her brain, gleaning off her experience and wisdom, sharing our stories, and having some good laughs together! Sounds like a perfect afternoon to me. I came with a long list of questions that she graciously answered about: how she started, why she writes, how she markets her books, her relationship with her publisher, suggestions for how-to books that can help me improve my writing skills, her writing process, how she comes up with ideas, how I can get more involved in writing groups, etc. Great information for an author that has no idea what she is doing!!!
If you haven't read any of her books, I urge you to give them a try. Not only do I speak very highly of her as a person that is generous, kind and loves Jesus, but she is also a fantastic author. You can find Denise's books in local bookstores or here.
Sometime I'll stop smiling, right?!?
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Tuesday Truth - Choose Wisely...
“Do not
love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of
the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful
man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not
from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but
the man who does the will of God lives forever.”
-1 John 2: 15-17
We are to be IN the world, not OF the
world. If you’re like me, you’ve heard this statement many times before, but
what exactly does it mean for us believers? First of all, it’s easier said than
done, isn’t it! When we believe in God, sin has no power over us. When we
follow Christ, it changes our hearts and we should become less interested in
the things of this world and have more desire to be like Jesus. Over the next
couple weeks we are going to talk about how we can submerge ourselves into the
world and yet hold our ground. Today let’s talk about the people that surround
us. Why are we here on earth? We are here to serve God and lead others to him.
Paul’s ministry tells us that we are to make ourselves a slave to everyone, to
win as many unbelievers as possible. To find a common ground, to not have a
self-righteous attitude, to make others feel accepted, be compassionate to
their needs and problems, and to live a life that looks different than theirs.
The trap here for many believers is when we make these people our core people.
Now, please understand me. I’m not saying we can’t be friends with unbelievers.
God encourages us to be! But the concern is inviting them into our inner
circle. In 2 Corinthians 6: 14 it says, “Do
not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” I think it even goes deeper than unbelievers.
We need to remember that believing in God is way different than living a life
that glorifies God and having a relationship with Him. Knowing that, we must choose our core people wisely. So let’s take a look at
the people in your life. Who are you with your friends? Do you change who you
are when hanging out with different groups of people? Do you change your morals, values, language,
television and movie tastes, etc.? God tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts
good character.” What do you do with the people closest to you in life? You
share who you are and you seek advice and wisdom. Let’s look at a few verses
that God explains to us the damage this can cause.
“A
righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them
astray.” Proverbs 12:26
“He
who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Proverbs 13:20
“Stay
away from a foolish man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips.” Proverbs
14:7.
In your walk with the Lord, how are you
being IN the world, but not OF the world? Are there any changes that you need
to make? Talk to God about that right now.
Heavenly Father, as I immerse myself into
the world, help me to keep a strong foundation. In 1 Corinthians 16: 13-14,
your word says, “Be on your guard, stand firm in the faith; be men of courage;
be strong. Do everything in love.” Through you, help me to be all those things
with the people I surround myself with. Amen.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Tuesday Truth - The Road To Forgiveness
“I, even I, am He who blots out your
transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”
Isaiah 43:25
Three years ago I lost my son, Brayden, at
the grocery store. It was unfortunately the really bad kind where all
shoppers heard this over the speakers: “Code Blue! Code
Blue! Attention all Wal-Mart Associates, we are in lockdown. We have
a missing child. Boy, age 4, blond hair, red shirt, navy
shorts.” Yep. I know. Mom of the year award right here! I
would have dressed up for the occasion had I known. In case you’re wondering,
Brayden thought it would be fun to play hide and seek with me…but forgot the
slight detail of telling me he was playing this game. And boy did he play well.
We (as in myself and the surrounding employees AND managers – enter face palm
here!) finally found him down an aisle tucked behind some boxes. Brayden, of
course, has never let me forget it. To this day, when we drive into
the parking lot, without fail, he says, “Hey mom, remember when you lost me
here?” This situation reminds me of our road to forgiveness, or more so, what
it is not. I don’t know about you, but I am so thankful that I
serve a God that doesn’t hold my sins against me. That doesn’t continue to
remind me of the times I’ve fallen short. That once I ask for forgiveness,
that’s it. It’s forgiven…forgotten! King David spoke of this truth
in Psalm 51:7 after he committed adultery. “Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be
whiter than snow.” Hyssop branches were used by the Israelites to
place the blood of the lamb over their doors ways. This act saved them
from death and secured their release from slavery. When we ask for
forgiveness, it not only cleanses our hearts and repairs the separation we made
with God, but it also releases us from the sin that keeps us in
slavery. It makes us pure again, without blemish. Is there a sin that
you are holding on to? Give it to God so He can break your chains and give
you freedom!
Heavenly Father, bring to light the sin(s)
that keep me captive, that keep me from drawing closer to you. Thank you
for sending your Son to come and save me from my sins, and that those sins are
forever forgotten. Amen.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Tuesday Truth - What is Your Example?
“Now Israel (Jacob) loved Joseph more than any of his
other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made a
richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved
him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to
him.”
– Genesis 37: 3-4
Heavenly Father, you know the people in my
life that cause strife in my heart. As I go through training and disciplining
my children, do the same for me through these individuals. Mold me to speak
only kindness, work on my heart to forgive - even if it’s not asked for or
deserved. Guide me to pray for these people and love on them through You and with
your strength. Amen.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
No More Excuses
I imagine we’re sitting in a coffee
shop, me with a caramel steamer in hand and you with a coffee or latte or
mocha, because that’s what the grown-up world does. I’ll explain how I wish I
liked coffee. How my mornings would probably be completely different because I
might actually not despise the mornings any longer. Or maybe if I had a cup of
joe (that’s what you savvy coffee drinkers call it these days, right?), the
morning routine of getting kids ready for school and packing those blasted
lunch boxes wouldn’t be as overwhelming during my caffeine high. We would chit-chat about our day, the
weather, and through getting to know each other you’d find out that I write
inspirational romance/suspense novels. You’re intrigued, and then you confide
in me that you’ve always wanted to write a book.
Can I just tell you how many times that
happens? Through book signings, random conversations and scenarios like above –
I can’t count the number of times someone has told me about their dream to
write a book. I’ve been asked by Bob Clary from the online learning company,
Webucator, to share any words of wisdom or knowledge I’ve collected about
writing for their new “Teach Your Talent” project. At first I hesitated,
thinking, “What do I have to offer?” I may not have incredible writing/grammar
skills to share or a heap of wisdom to bestow – but I can be your biggest
cheerleader! To those of you that have a dream and desire to start writing a
book … DO IT! No more excuses of...
I don’t have the time.
Even if
it’s five minutes a day – DO IT! I’ve been known to carry a notepad wherever I
go to jot down ideas or anything that pops up in my head. If you see me in the
pick-up line at my kids’ school, chances are you’ll see me scribbling like a
madwoman.
I don’t have the skills.
Learn.
Take classes. Teach yourself. DO IT!
I don’t know how to start my story.
Just start
writing, if it doesn’t flow, that’s what the backspace is for. How will you
ever know, if you don’t try and just DO IT! If I can give any advice in this
area, it’s to start with an outline. For me, it was so much easier to start
writing once I had an outline and knew where my story was heading.
I have the fear of failure.
Don’t we
all! DO IT anyway! I’ve learned through my process of getting published to grow
some thick skin and that I’d rather fail than not try at all.
I don’t have it in me for the hard work.
I’ll be honest;
it takes a lot of effort to write a book. It’s not for the faint-hearted. But trust
me, hard work makes the success even more rewarding. So DO IT!
I can hear you say, “Natalie, you don’t
understand. It’s easy for you to say that, you’re a published author.” Once I
stop laughing, let’s take a trip down memory lane.
Since I was a child, I always enjoyed writing
and telling stories. I had often thought about writing a novel but never really
pursued it because I have poor grammar skills (you, think I am, Kidding but
seriously its, horrible?). Knowing I had this huge struggle, I just assumed I
could never achieve writing a book. Back in 2009 life hit hard. I had two
horrible miscarriages and my middle son came down with a very rare and life-threatening
disease. It felt like all I did was grieve and take care of little people. I
finally realized I needed a hobby – an outlet. One night my husband encouraged
me to write a book – and hearing him say that sparked my desire again. So a few
days later I sat down, wrote out a quick outline with detailed characters …
gulp … and started writing chapter one.
I thought it was going well. Halfway
through the book I decided to find an editor, because NO ONE was going to read
this manuscript without first fixing my million grammar mistakes. I found an
amazing editor and sent it off with high hopes, only to be crushed by the
response. The manuscript wasn’t good. At all. It needed so much work the editor
couldn’t even start editing. The subtext, the dialogue, the plot – you name it,
and it was probably terrible. Pretty much the only way anyone is going to get
their hands on that first manuscript will be over my dead body.
So what did I do? I cried. I didn’t
tell anyone, and for three days I licked my wounds and cried. Then I sucked it
up and got honest with myself. I could quit right there - only a handful of
people knew what I was doing. I could save face and no one would be the wiser.
Or I could pick myself up and do something about it. I had to ask myself what I
really wanted. The answer? I wanted to write a book.
For the next month all I did was
research how to write a fiction novel. I read article after article. I read
self-help books. I went back through my favorite author’s books and gleaned
from her words, style, and examples. And after all that, I found my own niche and
voice - and started all over again. I sent the first chapter back to the
editor. And guess what? She loved it!
I wish I could say from there on it was
all smooth sailing until I signed my contract four years later with my
publisher. I wish I could say I didn’t get rejected by twenty some agents that
didn’t see my vision for a story. I wish I could say my books have been on the
New York Times Bestseller list.
I can’t.
But what I can say is … I DID IT! I
wrote a book.
Now, it’s your turn!
And yes, someone did proofread this…
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