Chapter One
The mixture of multiple footsteps that paced outside Ava
Williams’ dressing room door kept her on high alert. Voices mumbled just quiet
enough to keep her from the details, but still she knew. With every beat of her
breaking heart and every sinking breath that filled her lungs, the realization
crept into her knotted stomach. He
wasn’t coming.
Her sister Lucy sat across from her in silent comfort.
Thankfully they spoke no words between them. Ava needed time for her unsettled
thoughts. Julia, her best friend since grade school, sat beside Ava with
tissues in hand, clearly waiting for her to break down and unleash a flood of
tears. Surprisingly this hadn’t happened yet, partly because of stubbornness
and partly because she desperately hoped she misunderstood the tension that
formed outside the door.
How long had she been sitting here in this room, waiting?
Minutes or hours, she didn’t even know anymore.
Ava scanned the room, assuring herself the walls weren’t
closing in on her. If she could make a clean escape possible, she’d kick off
her three-inch heels and run. But the fear of being seen kept her glued in her
chair.
Ava stared down at the flowing white dress that covered her
in a massive puff, sighing in disbelief. How could this be happening? He loved
her, or so he claimed.
He seemed happy.
Or maybe that’s just what she wanted to believe.
As he’d hugged her good-night after the rehearsal, a
different look appeared in his eyes. She didn’t think much of it, until now.
Did he look nervous? Maybe a hint of anxiousness smothered in guilt?
What did he say before he drove away?
“I do love you, Ava. Always remember that.” Then he’d kissed
her on the forehead.
She placed her hand on her throat as the unknown caused her
windpipe to close.
A knock at the door tore her away from the sinking thoughts.
Ava glanced up to see her mom walk in perfectly tailored for today’s event,
from her pink dress and matching nails to her professional hairdo and makeup.
She turned and shut the door behind her with a gentle click.
“Ava,” her mother proceeded into the room with concern
etched across her face. She lowered herself onto the chair beside Ava. Her lips
pursed, delaying the inevitable. In almost slow motion, she put an arm around
her, her strong-scented rose corsage scraping against Ava’s bare skin. The pain
in her eyes spoke volumes. Her mom didn’t even need to continue.
Ava took a deep breath and fought the impulse to cover her
ears and go to a happy place where the news couldn’t hurt.
“Tim isn’t coming, sweetheart. His family just arrived and
informed us that he has cancelled the wedding.” She pulled a white envelope
from her purse and handed it to Ava. “This is for you.”
Ava swallowed, trying to clear the lump that had formed in
her throat. The word AVA
was written in Tim’s handwriting on the top of the white envelope. The black
ink screamed rejection. Black … the color that dominated her sight while the
room began to spin. She put her head down, covering her eyes with her palm.
Sweat drops pooled on her forehead. She swabbed her brow with clammy fingers.
“I don’t feel well.”
Lucy jumped up from her chair. “Ava, its okay,” she said
while scrambling to her. “You’re going to be fine. Let me get you some water.”
They sat her down with her head against the back of the
chair and urged her to drink some water. Each sip brought her back to reality.
And reality really stunk.
“Ava, are you all right?” Concern coated her mom’s words.
“Yes. Thank you. I feel better, just a little dizzy.”
Ava stared down at the letter that held her disappointing
fate.
“Would you like some privacy?” Lucy asked.
She made no attempt to leave.
“No, I need you all with me.” She held onto the letter so
tight that her knuckles turned white. As badly as she wanted—no, needed—to know the
reason behind his hurtful behavior and decision, she was also terrified to know
the truth.
Oh
God, she prayed, Give
me the strength to endure these words and the faith to know that You will
comfort me in every breath. You are my rock. Help me!
With a final look at the most important women in her life,
her hands still shaky, she opened the envelope and began reading out loud:
First
of all, I’m sorry for hurting you and ending our relationship this way. I
couldn’t trust myself to explain in person for fear I would change my mind once
I saw your beautiful face. I know that despite my horrible timing and the gut-wrenching
feeling it is to hurt you this way, I am still making the right decision. I
can’t marry you, Ava. I do love you, but I can’t stand before God and make you
my wife. You are everything I have ever wanted, but the peace I need is not
there. I do not want to create a lifelong “what if” marriage, so I need to let
you go. I am truly sorry. I pray that you will find happiness again.
Good-bye,
Tim
Ava wiped the flood of tears that drenched her face. Her mom
rubbed her other hand while Julia continued feeding her tissues.
“Why was I not enough for him?” she cried between hiccups
and sobs.
She gasped, struggling to breathe as the pain stabbed her
heart. Ava clawed at her chest trying to remove the agony. She had no warning,
no insight into his thoughts. Within a day she went from rejoicing in the
future laid out before her to being alone and empty. If she could have only
prepared herself, maybe the blow wouldn’t have hurt so badly.
“What am I going to tell everyone? How can I face all those
people again, knowing they pity me? How could Tim leave me to handle all of
this?” she snapped. “What a coward!” She covered her face with her hands,
allowing the walls to break. Finally, after many rounds of trying to compose
herself, a new strength built inside, and she shed the last tear, for now.
“Ava,” her mother waited until she had her attention. “First
of all, you are an amazing woman and you will
survive this. Now, your dad and brothers have already taken care of all the
guests, so there is nothing to worry about. You just take care of yourself and
tell us what you need us to do.”
“Thanks. What I really need is our family. Could you have
the guys come in? It would make me feel better to see them,” Ava said. She
could almost feel their comforting arms.
“Of course, honey.” A warm smile lightened her features.
“I’m surprised they haven’t busted down the door already. You know how
protective they are of you.”
Her mother stood and walked to the door. Lucy rushed to
Ava’s side, filling the vacant spot. She wrapped her arm around Ava’s shoulder
and squeezed. Ava leaned her head against Lucy’s shoulder.
In an instant her dad entered the room, wrapping her up into
his arms. “Oh Ava, my sweet girl.” He pulled her back a bit so he could look
her in the eyes. “I would give anything to make your pain my own so you
wouldn’t have to suffer another moment.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Not many girls were blessed to have such a
strong and affectionate father. He didn’t waste many words, but people listened
when he spoke. The silver that painted his long ago black hair proved his years
of wisdom and Ava appreciated the advice that he gave when asked, not forced.
Her older twin brothers entered with scowls on their faces.
Despite her sudden crummy life, she remained very thankful for family. As her
dad stepped aside, her brothers sandwiched her into the tightest hug.
“Ava, all you have to do is say the word and we can take
care of Tim,” Jake snarled. She caught a glimpse of his chest puff up slightly.
He was serious.
“I see you’re hesitant. We don’t actually have to hurt
him—maybe just scare him a bit,” Josh offered.
Ava almost giggled. Her hesitancy wasn’t because she didn’t
want them to hurt him. She was hesitant because she actually considered it.
“Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. But I guess if I’m not worth his time, he
shouldn’t be worth ours.” Her anger surfaced easily.
“Ava, you are priceless. Don’t let some guy make you feel
otherwise, not even for a second,” her dad chimed in behind them. He was always
her biggest fan.
His words dripped in kindness and what she needed to hear to
fill the hollow ache in her heart, but his words were wasted effort. She could
identify the shock setting in. She felt numb and empty regardless of the love
that surrounded her. Her self-pity had just won the battle placed before her.
She fixed her eyes on the picture hanging on the wall, not seeing it, just
giving herself a distraction.
She had no more tears. A stone never sheds tears, and that
is what she felt like, a stone. No emotion, no senses—just hard and unmoving.
Her mom spoke first. “Okay men, out you go. We need to get
Ava undressed and get her out of here.” She waved her hand toward the door to
help scoot them along.
The guys filed out as Ava sat down in the chair where she
had earlier gotten ready. She looked up at the mirror for one last glance. The
dress she had once thought would remind her of the happiest day of her life now
turned into weights that she couldn’t shed fast enough.
The dress she had dreamed about since meeting Tim ended up a
waste. Hopefully she could get a good price for it at the consignment shop
downtown.
She twisted her engagement ring around her finger, debating
whether to throw it across the room or place it on the table beside her.
She left it on.
Julia stood behind her and they looked at each other through
the mirror. They shared no words. None were needed. They had years of speaking
to one another through looks and signals.
Without asking, Julia freed her hair from the million bobby
pins that the hairdresser thought needed to pierce every square inch of her
head. The loose black curls softly bounced down below her shoulders, stopping
at the middle of her back.
Ava took a deep breath.
Yes, she would survive, but at what cost? Would she ever let
herself love again?
Death comes in many forms…her death was a love squelched by
rejection…
SWAT officer Matt Thompson lives
for saving and protecting others, but can he rescue Ava from herself? For him it’s love at first sight, and
convincing Ava to trust him and prove to her his love is real and unending is a
battle worth fighting.
While Ava begins to break free from the bondage of her past
she discovers that a student’s mom is suffering from her own bondage of
domestic abuse. Ava’s determination to
help becomes complicated when she is caught up in the tragedy that begins to
unfold. Can Ava help her find freedom
and God before it’s too late?
An
irreversible decision is made that causes a backlash of chaotic events. Ava’s life is in danger and Matt is
determined to save her…even if it costs him his own life.
